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an_gel_i_ca
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Name: an_gel_i_ca
Interests: social movements/change/justice, art, dinosaurs, fuzzy animals, books, tattoos, travel, sustainable development, cooking, hugging trees, whales, grubbing around in the yard, emulating dionysus, mike rowe
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  thatgirlangelica
Member Since:
4/14/2005
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| i think its time for a clean slate
moving on
(http://angelicainsenegal.blogspot.com/)
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| last night i dreamt that i was back in the room i grew up in
i was at the very top of a bunk bed, huddling in the corner because there was a massive lion in the room
not a majestic lion or anything, but one that was gigantic, tawny, dirty, and aggressive
i was cowering up there because the lion had mauled and killed a dark brown horse and there was blood everywhere
on the floor, on the walls, dripping from the fangs of the lion
and the horse carcass - with the rib cage particularly exposed - just lay in the corner...
and then i had the dream again
and the second time around, everything was the same except i was screaming "it's happening again!!!!"
disturbing
jan and i did some research...
"To see blood in your dream, represents life, love and passion as well as disappointments"
"If you see a dead horse in your dream, then it
indicates that something in your life that initially offered you
strength is now gone. This may refer to a relationship or situation."
"To see a lion
in your dream, symbolizes great strength, aggression and power. You
will overcome your emotions and/or difficulties. As king of the jungle,
the lion also represents royalty, leadership, pride and dominion...You may also need to exercise restraint in your own personal and social life."
"To dream that
you are attacked by a lion, indicates that you have many obstacles to
overcome. You must resist the force that is driving you to
self-destruction."
"To see bunk beds in your dream, represents childhood and innocence. Alternatively, it may rever to diverging and conflicting views of sexuality. You may have difficulties expressing your needs and desires."
"To see your childhood home in particular, suggests your own desires for building a family. It also reflects aspects of yourself that were prominent or developed during the time you lived in that home."
"To see ribs in your dream, symbolizes poverty and misery"
what does it all mean?!?!
(and i'm pretty convinced that it all means something...)
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| in the last chapter of little women (one of my favorite childhood books), jo looks up from her place at the table and surveys the fruits of her labor with pride and pleasure. i've always wanted to experience that kind of happiness louisa may alcott described in that chapter and last night, i felt that way as we dug into our heaping plates of wonderful mexican cuisine at costa chica in new brunswick after a long sunday of attending church service and fliering NB about PROYECTO SOLIDARIDAD's upcoming english camp and VBS. i had looked up from my end of the table and saw the beautiful sight of 20+ shiny (and sweaty!) faces of all different ethnicities eating and joking and fellowshipping in pursuit of a multiethnic and global church and ministry. i ooze with pride (the good kind) when i think about how my coworkers come from so many different cultural, socioeconomic, idealogical, and personal backgrounds but can pursue one common goal. i really appreciate the PS team and love their commitment and faith. i know that yesterday was a long and arduous day for them but they champed it out in the heat and with little complaining and much enthusiasm. i am blessed and honored to be working with people like this. i am also very grateful for the organization team - leanne, irene, dan, and howie have been one of the best groups of people i have ever worked with. i love our dynamic. can i bring them to senegal with me??
yes, at that moment i surveyed the table, i was filled with such an overwhelming sense of joy...i almost wanted to cry!
but before i could turn on the waterworks, my amazingly gigantic burrito arrived and i was - thankfully - distracted...
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| now that PC is official i suddenly feel as if i am hurtling through life
just a few days ago i was sidling through it, taking my time, and enjoying the view
now suddenly i have a deadline and a whole list of things to do and get done
and all this time i am wondering in my head
AM I TOUGH ENOUGH TO DO THIS?????
this is really roughing it
no running water
no electricity
out in the hot hot heat collecting seeds or planting trees or convincing farmers that agroforestry is the way to go in one of two languages (NOT english)
and also, it's not like i really know what agroforestry is!
i mean, i know what it is by definition but i don't know the first thing about how to do it or anything like that
its not even as if i've lived on anything remotely like a farm in my life!!!
granted, i will be trained, but still...
i am filled with thoughts of self doubt right now
but there ain't no looking back now...
anyway, they took my macbook from me today because there was something messy with the screen and a whole number of ailments that stressed me out
this, on top of having no water in the morning earlier this week
PS meetings
trying to get along with certain people 24/7
and all the books i checked out on agroforestry
...i feel as if training has already started
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